The Gosh Darn Candy Corn Isn’t Ripe Yet!

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

In the prairie right now, we have officially hit over 20 days of triple digit heat and over a month since our last rainfall. You could say it’s been a pretty mild summer. Kids have just gone back to school, everyone’s A/C is cranking, and we are all looking forward to the days coming soon where we might be able to throw on a light jacket. So imagine my surprise when I waltzed into my local grocery store to see it decorated for fall and candy corn packages sitting on every aisle.

Y’all.

It’s not even ripe yet.

There is a very clear and distinct, albeit brief, window in which candy corn harvesting and eating should commence— and that window does not fall in a month that begins with the letter A.

In fact, I shouldn’t even be seeing hints of red foliage, pumpkins, or ghosts until after labor day at the earliest. Call me bossy, call me picky, but call me right, too. We can manifest cooler weather all we want, but the reality is that this prairie is going to be superheated for at least another month. So go soak up the sun by the pool while there aren’t any kids. Go out and get some final tropical drinks, because the days of fall and winter are coming (can anyone sense the impending ice storm that’ll shut down the state again?) and you won’t want to be sick of fall when it hits.

But most importantly, don’t eat the candy corn. Unripe candy corn is the worst. Take it from someone who knows.

-The Cowgirl